Thank you, Time. It's an honor, and it was a tough race, but I prevailed, managing to squeak past Mahmoud Ahmadinejad at the last minute.
Obviously, I'll be pretty busy with interviews and press junkets for the next few weeks, but I did want to let you know that I am offering limited edition commemorative prints of the Time Magazine Person of the Year cover, personally inscribed by me. Only 10,000 prints will be issued, and at only $50 each, it's quite a deal... and collectable as well. Makes a great Christmas gift for the whole family.
I just wanted to take the time to thank all you, my fanatical supporters, for helping to bestow this honor on me. I promise to bear the burden of office with responsibility, and to do my best to not disgrace the crown.