Insomnia (insomnia) wrote,

This Just In -- Turkish Prime Minister Blows Goats!

Recep Tayyip Erdogan, the somewhat malformed but otherwise comparatively charismatic Turkish Prime Minister, took a bit of a break today from flogging Kurds in a nearby gulag to make a statement supporting a new law that criminalizes insults against Turkey, "Turkishness", and, perhaps most importantly, Turkish politicians, saying that he and his cronies did not have to stand for being a target of abuse.

In fact, in a recent poll, the great majority of Turks indicated that they would gladly stop insulting Erdogan and the others running their country, if only they would be willing to step down instead.

The Turks, known for centuries as smelly, genocidal goat fondlers, totally incapable of winning wars against anyone with less pigmentation than themselves, are apparently so profoundly insecure about their "national identity" that they need to pass laws in order to defend it. Not that you can tell that they're a bit... insecure... about certain aspects of their "identity", of course. 

Turkey is still trying -- and, apparently, still failing -- to become a part of the European Union in the hope of undercutting the Spanish and the Poles in the European market for inexpensive, poorly-manufactured products. Despite this, they have a long history of export into Europe; their primary European exports the past include figs, the Black Death, menial laborers, genocide, fascism, and, of course, overpriced rugs -- an ancient art they learned by intricately braiding their pubic hair, in the hope of attracting the really good looking goats.

Turkey's new law shows that clearly, the best way of improving your national identity is to threaten to arrest those Turks who actually *think* about the state of their country, and who, as a result, feel compelled to swear profusely and constantly... especially while driving.

This also explains in part why the most common career path for a Turkish intellectual is that of a bathroom attendant working in a foriegn country, as only Turkey's best and brightest find a way to leave.

In other words... lighten up, Erdogan. Learn to take a f*ckin' joke.

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