Insomnia (insomnia) wrote,

Routing around justice.

And now, a short recap of the investigation into the blantantly unconstitutional warrantless domestic spying program:

Former AT&T employee: Your government is spying on you!
Press: SCORE!
Bush administration: No we're not... and we refuse to comment anyway!
AT&T: And even if we were to comment, we couldn't say anything. Maybe BellSouth or Verizon could answer your questions, though.
BellSouth: Bastards!
Verizon: Wha...?!
Qwest: All you guys suck! The Feds approached us, and we told 'em to go to hell.
Judge: Well, let's find out more about it in court, then.
Former AT&T employee: Finally, my day in court!
Attorney General: Or not. Case closed. Documents sealed in perpetuity!
Judge: Wha..?
Former AT&T employee: Wha?!!
Press: WHA...?!?!
American public: (Zzzzzz...snort!) Did someone say something?!
Bush administration: Sssh. Go back to sleep.
Press: Here's the proof!
American public: Hey! The press was right! We *ARE* being spied on!
Press: ...And in the latest poll, Bush is less popular than painful rectal itching!
Bush administration: Screw you guys. I'll be back on top! You're all a bunch of traitors!
Attorney General: ...and ve have vays of dealink vit traitors!
Rumsfeld: Hey, look... It's Zarqawi!
Bush: SCORE! I'm more popular than rectal itching again! Go back to sleep, everyone!
American public: Huh! What's that?!
Bush: Just a little conflict. It'll fizzle out...
Gingrich: It's World War III!
Neocons: Yes. It *IS* World War III! Let loose the dogs of war!
Christian fundamentalists: Yay war! The Rapture is coming... time to start praying, or you'll be left behind! Wanna buy a Bible?!
American public: Aaaaaah!
Conservatives: Um, excuse me guys, but I don't remember signing on for this!
Bush: Sorry. No do-overs.
Congress: But I still think what the President did was unconstitutional!
Attorney General: No it wasn't.
Congress: Why?!
Attorney General: Because he said it wasn't. He's the one who cancelled the trial anyway. Unwritten presidential authority and all that.
Congress: Oh.
Attorney General: Yup. There ya go. I'd like to help you, but you can see how my hands are tied and all that. Sooner or later, I'm sure I'll get around to organizing a secret tribunal that will decide that it's not illegal, and when I know that it isn't... well, I can't tell you, because that would be illegal too.
Congress: Oh. Well... alright then.
Bush: Go back to sleep everyone. I'll be sure to wake you when my term is up.

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