Insomnia (insomnia) wrote,

The Rocky and bullshit plot show.

Someone please bludgeon Sylvester Stallone. He's bringing back Rocky, and came up with a truely bad premise.


Stallone said the story has the aging, widowed Rocky initially refusing a chance to get back in the ring. "There's a computer fight between the reigning world champion and Balboa, and Balboa wins," he said.

"The champion's management says let's do this for real, for charity. Rocky says no but decides to be true to himself even though he's going to be berated by everyone. Just to compete, not to win."

Stallone said former heavyweight champion Roy Jones Jr. is in talks to play Rocky's opponent, Mason Dixon. . . The rest of the cast will likely be unknowns.

This, apparently, was the best plot that Stallone could come up with after thinking about it for four years. And "Mason Dixon"? Why didn't they just call his opponent "Glass Joe" or "Bald Bull"?

If they really want to make a Rocky movie that people would enjoy paying $10 to see, they'd put 60-year-old Stallone in the ring with Roy Jones Jr. and let them go at it for real. Now *THAT* I'd pay $10 to see. I'd pay an extra $10 if they had Jones beat the crap out of Schwarzenegger too, while he's at it. For comedy relief, they could wheel a table into the ring once Stallone and Schwarzenegger had hit the canvas, so that Jones could relax and have a nice champagne brunch. He eat his meal and crack jokes, while Stallone and Schwarzenegger writhed around in pain, smearing their blood everywhere. The only catch is that any time one them got close to leaving the ring, Jones would get up from the table and beat the crap out of them again. They could let Quentin Tarantino direct. Hell, he could get his ass beaten too. It's all good fun, and who wouldn't take a considerable beating for a few million?

Three cheers for Talia Shire's decision not to take part in the last Rocky. I guess Adrian finally got enough self-respect to ditch a failing relationship with a violently abusive dumbass and his slimy, leeching, codependent brother-in-law. I hope she got custody of the kid, and took the chump for everything he had. I hope she's bangin' Apollo Creed.

Mickey was right about Rocky. "You ain't nothin' but a bum!"

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