Insomnia (insomnia) wrote,

Too driven...

I really should avoid posts about LJ business in my journal, but it has really preoccupied my life lately.

I like LJ and the stuff I have done (and have urged Brad to do) has made a big difference for the better with the site... and especially with Brad's vision of what the site can be... but I don't want to be just that, you know?

The last week has been really long and involved... I never expected Brad to mention my mini-manifesto in news, and I never ever expected all the feedback and volunteers that I got. It really helped, but it left me feeling overwhelmed on one extreme and addicted on the other. I felt like I needed to really get moving to find a way to use all the new offers of assistance before they vanished into the blue.

A lot has happened in the course of a few days. Hopefully I can count on all the new volunteers to work the issues and get things done... meanwhile, I think I need to recharge my batteries. Sometimes, I care about things too much, until they preoccupy my life and start to become a burden. It gets a helluva lot done admittedly, but it's not sustainable all the time.

Brad and I seem to be a lot alike in this case... he hates school... and I hate work. Not that I really truly hate what I do or who I do it for (or the pay...), but it makes me wake up early in the morning and forces me to do things at times that aren't convenient for me. I would much rather have a chance to do my LJ stuff at home in a relaxed state, rather than having to do the 9-5 and squeeze in LJ every chance I get, never being relaxed, never getting enough rest or exercise, and basically functioning like a zombie at work... I'm sorely tempted to let this contract run out (despite the fact that I could get pre-IPO stock if I went permanent) and then go on unemployment, spending all my time taking care of LJ and finding people interested in buying/using what we've created. Maybe by the time my unemployment ran out, LJ would be able to pay me some kind of salary.

Damn. I need another vacation already!

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