Insomnia (insomnia) wrote,
Insomnia
insomnia

Fly the Ted-ly skies...

Today I got an email saying that I should "Keep up with TedClub".

"How ludicrous!" I thought. "Since when did I join up with a bunch of Teds?!"

So, I look at the email, and it shows me this picture...



"They *CAN'T* be serious. What kind of f*cking joke is this?! I'm thinking. "More offers of free Hawaiian vacations, perhaps? Damn spam filter..."

Still, it started to talk about Mileage Plus and it also mentioned United Airlines (in passing...) so I immediately start wondering if this is one of those html emails with the phony URLs, out to direct me to some evil, soulstealing site. I check the .html just to be sure. It looks authentic, and it points to UAL domains. That said, I feel pretty sure that I don't need spam from Ted.

I Google Ted and United. Turns out that it's legit. Ted is United's new "low fare" airline.. which, of course, means that given how expensive United is and how little a UniTED discount actually means, you'll probably be better off flying JetBlue anyway.

I'm sorry. I don't want to fly Ted. Really, it all comes down to not trusting Ted. Anyone with any self-respect wouldn't allow themselves to be called a Ted... they'd insist on Theo. Ted flew in the Air Force reserve, but nobody in his unit remembered him. Ted tried to pledge a frat, but none of them would take him... and I'm prety sure that I saw Ted load up on double shots of Johnny Walker at the airport bar, trying not to look like yet another stewardess stood him up because he was "kinda creepy".

Ted's an unlovable loser... and he just might take you down with him. What's more, Ted's got a lousy marketing department.

Suck it, Ted.
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