"We watch bootleg copies of the latest movies burned off the internet..."
Obviously, piracy is rampant in our armed forces... so shouldn't the MPAA and RIAA send their lawyers to Iraq, where they can investigate our brave soldiers, take away their movies and music, and prosecute them to the full extent of the law?! Sure, their lawyers are already busy trying to sue and arrest minors, but here's a frank admission of guilt! We know where the criminals are living, too -- no need for subpoenaing ISPs!
And while they're there, how about encouraging them to send unarmed packs of lawyers down the broiling streets of Baghdad in their business suits in order to root out bootleg movie, CD, and software vendors -- take a bullet for American capitalism, boys!