July 24th, 2004


Married gay couples do scary things.

I was thinking of making a list of all that is scary about married gay couples, as if there is a list out there, perhaps others will see how ludicrous it is... maybe it has the makings of a meme, or something... but I need suggestions.

Here is my list so far:

Married gay couples do scary things...

  • They get all the best deals when they go antiqueing.

  • They fold their laundry in an exceptionally tidy manner.

  • They laugh uncontrollably when they go bowling.

  • They know what those little bottles at the natural foods store do.

  • They have at least six different varieties of tea with no actual tea in them.

  • They swap accessories together... and yet their accessories still match.

  • They can do that "James Dean thing" with their pants cuffs, and somehow get them to stay that way.

  • They wear expensive sunglasses and actually use the protective case they came in.

  • They picnic in an excessively colorful way.

  • They watch Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and laugh at all the silly heterosexuals.

  • They like their privacy and want to be left alone too much.

  • They plan the downfall of society over double mochas at Starbucks.

Truely horrifying stuff. So, what do you think is scary about married gay couples?