May 23rd, 2004


The great Rumsfeld coverup.

What should the U.S. Army do when there are pictures of U.S. soldiers abusing prisoners of war? Should they encourage soldiers to come forward with evidence indicating how widespread the abuse is, so that such horrors never happen again... or should they do what Rumsfeld is doing, and ban all digital cameras, camcorders, and cameraphones?

Rumsfeld has crossed the line. He is not only stonewalling a criminal investigation, he is actively encouraging a coverup. He's got to go.

In other news, as of today, 801 U.S. soldiers have died in Iraq.

Just when you thought that he couldn't look any more ridiculous...

He proves us wrong.

White House spokespam Trent Duffy blamed Bush's bicycle accident on the weather, saying "It's been raining a lot and the topsoil is loose."

Except, of course, that it hasn't rained in Crawford for over a week.

In other news, George W. Bush has announced the War on Topsoil. He plans on aggressively attacking the problem with the help of several major U.S. corporations, who will stripmine, pollute, irradiate, and salt all remaining arable land.

A spokesman for the Bush campaign proudly proclaimed "This is one war in which we're already well on our way to victory!"