June 8th, 2003


it's kind of amusing in a sad, sad way...

Another LJ popularity meme snuck up on me. Got this email...

From : msochuck@yahoo.com

Hey everybody,

The LJer, l2g, set up a webpage at
http://l2g.to/lj/top40 which lists the 40 most popular
LJ's according to Google. Guess what? Out of over a
million LJ's, you're up there. Congrats! Care to
hang out with the livejournal elite? Here's your
private invitation to join the top40 LJ community at

Have fun,
Chuck (LJ name: amuzulo)


Lo, and behold... there I am at #27, based on Google's page-ranking methods, surprisingly ahead of news and lj_nifty. It's even more surprising to me seeing who *isn't* there. None of the LJ staff, for instance. Not pjammer, who really is a very smart, entertaining fellow. Not ana, who has lived her life online for ever and ever... To me, this indicates the flaws inherent in Google's page ranking more than anything else.

Of course, what Google tracks primarily is the reputation, links, and goodwill of sources that link in to LJ users... I know I don't have a ton of links pointing to my journal from other sources on the web, so I can only assume that I have some particularly reputable people pointing to me. Then again, you point to me in your own ways that Google doesn't track... so don't you feel special and l33t?!

I just wrote about popularity and fame just the other day, in a comment to a post that John C. Dvorak made, suggesting that open source development is all about fame. Why, oh why, does he feel the need to demean the open source movement, strike the death knell for Linux, piss all over weblogs and webloggers, etc. Of course, he's changed his mind about weblogs now that he's writing a book on them... Is he really as clueless and behind the times as he seems, or is he merely the Rush Limbaugh (i.e. big, loud, idiot) of technology reporting? Thanks to the visibility of his column, however, he will continue to loudly question everyone's motives except for his own.

At this particular moment, I feel anything but popular. I love my circle of friends, but even though I have always gone out of my way to open the house to visitors, I can't say that there are people over constantly. I wish I could see the friends I do have more often, but they have busy lives. Many of my best friends have moved out of the immediate area, if not thousands of miles away.

I really miss adaeon (who never uses his journal anymore...), and I really wish he'd move back into the area and work with some people I know over at the EFF --but it would likely mean further financial sacrifices on his part. If you were to learn how to be a lawyer, wouldn't you want to learn from Larry Lessig? I know I would.

Meanwhile, we have our SUV completely packed with boxes to take up to House _dreamland_ in San Francisco this afternoon, where hopeforyou, sinboy, rosefox, and mikz will finally be able to live together as a poly household. I'm happy for them, but still, I know it probably means seeing all of them less than before.

So, yes --popularity, however you define it, doesn't mean much these days. It never did, really. Right now, I look at life and I still feel stuck between where I am and where I want to be, and yes, it's depressing now and then. Such as today. Still feeling ahuman, somehow untouchable, inaccessable, and unreachable by the rest of humanity. Like Damiel in Wings of Desire... again.

"Als das Kind Kind war,
wusste es nicht, das es Kind war,
alles war ihm beseelt,
und alle Seelen waren eins."

And if that's hard to understand, then so am I. An easier reference would be Lather, perhaps. As much as I like acting like a kid occasionally, I can never be one. Sure would be easier at times, though.

A drink for one out by the hot tub, I guess...

Me and MTV agree on something?! Scary...

Several months back, I posted that Andy Serkis (the actor whose performance Gollum from The Two Towers was based on) deserved to win a best supporting actor Oscar for his really incredible performance. While MTV couldn't give him an Oscar, I am glad to hear that he won an award for "Best Digital Performance" at the MTV Movie Awards.

What's cooler still is seeing the Andy Serkis / Gollum acceptance speech for the award where Gollum swears a blue streak. It will take you forever to download it at highest quality, but it's sooo worth it.

And such a shiny, special award too, my precious...