April 1st, 2001


kitty sitting...

well, looks like my plans this week are canceled. Kirsten has had an absolutely horrible weekend. First, there was what happened to her on Friday... she was stunned and somewhat in a daze when I saw her after work, and she is cursed with a photographic memory of traumatic events. We grabbed sandwiches and ice cream for her, then hunkered down at the house, where I encouraged her to have something to drink. I didn't want what happened to play in her head over and over, I guess...

On retrospect, the drinks probably weren't the best idea. She had an upset stomach and bad dreams all night... and woke up very late, very tired, and very drained. She wasn't feeling good, so I declared it official Kitty day, and said we could do whatever she wanted. First, however, we had to pick up the car from the shop... we're getting the A/C fixed on it, but the parts aren't in until Monday. We had to walk to the bus stop and hop the transit to get over there... and she was obviously not feeling well, so I picked her up a soda and tried making her as comfortable as possible. The trip felt like our early days together... poor, waiting for the bus, but going through all of it together.

We went up to Milpitas, at first with the idea of getting pearl tea, but she had the idea of dim sum along the way. We got to the Mayflower just as they were starting to close off the service for the dim sum, and were sat next to the kitchen, where we were swarmed by servers trying to get rid of a lovely parade of yummy edibles as soon as possible. Although I prefer having dim sum in a longer, more relaxed method, I didn't want to interfere with their schedule, so we had a dim sum quickie... but definitely a dim sum goodie! Kirsten's mood increased considerably... we swung by Best Buys, hoping to find a few more good Dreamcast games, but they were really low on stock, so we took off for home.

Just as well... you know when you feel icky and tired after a crappy nights sleep, and then get a good, filling meal? After all that, she was definitely ready to conk out, and I was pretty tired myself. I had been pushing myself pretty hard all week, finishing a big documentation project at work. 300+ pages, written largely from scratch by yours truly... all the documentation for a major, highly involved product. We cuddled, and I was definitely out for several hours... waking up when she was obviously fiddly and uncomfortable. Turns out, she was starting to get a really major headache, but not a migraine. It soon became clear that she was coming down with a flu. I've been taking care of her all night... fetching her tea and crumpets, medicine, getting her a compress for her headache, etc. Sometimes, I really like taking care of her when she is feeling bad... It kinda helps to make up for all the nice things she does for me all the time.

Sometimes, I feel like the Mayor, and she's my Sarah Bellum... except, of course, that I am considerably smarter than the Mayor and don't need anyone's help in opening pickle jars or fighting monsters. What has made our relationship survive is that we're there for each other when things aren't so good... that and the fact that we genuinely love each other after all this time. Moreso, actually. There's nothing sweeter to me than seeing her sleeping, and there are a thousand little things about her that I find very endearing to me. I know what she's thinking most of the time, as she does me... and we can talk about anything with each other.

So many of our friends that we know in their mid 20's just do not get relationships... they have such incredibly high expectations about what they want in a person, and then once they are involved with someone, they have a hard enough time shedding their clothes in that person's presence, much less sharing all their feelings. They keep secrets and hide their inner lives and feelings from each other, then they wonder why they have so many issues of mistrust, so many unexpressed resentments, or such poor communication.

The sad thing is that a lot of people will never have what we have... relationships like ours are out of vogue. They don't happen overnight. It takes time and effort and work. It takes shared struggles and shared successes and happiness and sorrow. It means sharing your life and everything about you with someone else... and not holding a thing back.

That's why, I guess, that although I can love and care for other people dearly, they should never expect me to put them above Kirsten. As an equal in her company, certainly, but I really don't want to hang out with people who don't appreciate the value of what she and I have together, or who assume they deserve the same amount of my time and energy as she does. Most friends we have don't understand that sometimes, we don't want to go out... sometimes we just want to sit around together at home cuddling and watching cartoons, spending quality time with the cats, or just being together in the same room on our computers. It might not be exciting to you, but it means a lot to me.

Yes, sometimes I might want more than domestic bliss... but only sometimes.
  • Current Music
    Cocteau Twins - Touch Upon Touch

Adopt-a-Petfish update

For those of you on other spheres of consciousness lately, Petfish has to move by the 15th of the month... quite soon, really. She is looking for another job doing tech support, junior level linux/unix sysadmin, or software testing, and is willing to relocate for a new position. Anyone actually know someone who is hiring?! Her resume is at : www.petfish.org/resume.html ...please pass it around, if possible.

So far we have $120 in the Adopt-a-Petfish fund. In addition to that, Iceblink and I are throwing in $100. I want to thank the people who have given so far for their generosity, but we can use more donations... they don't have to be big. $5 and $10 are perfectly wonderful donations, and twenty or thirty donations like that would do a lot to help. Rental prices seem to be about $400 for an inexpensive place in San Diego, so if we can get the total up a bit more, it would be appreciated.

I will probably have to wrap up the Adopt-a-Petfish campaign in the next week in order to make sure she gets the $$ in time, so if you can donate or even just tell other people about her situation in your journal, it would certainly help.