September 19th, 2000


A post I did on Auriea H.'s LJ.

In Auriea Harvey's LiveJournal, it has seemed at times that she is daunted by her latest project... which involves technologies that she hasn't used before. She must feel at times a lot like I do when I look at her web design... staring at brilliance and at unbelievably high standards that I probably will never match.

And you know? It doesn't matter if I ever do. I make more of myself by aspiring to be more than I am... "Will I ever get there?" is a question that is moot. There is no there there... The road only runs higher, the slope only gets steeper and more slippery... and there is always more to do. If you stand still, you slide backwards... If you want to aspire to more, you have to keep moving on. Here was my post, btw...

Your work has plenty of surprises. I personally can't wait to see what you come up with...

Your situation reminds me once of when I visited a recording studio with a friend, picked up an electric guitar (which I had never played before) and just started experimenting with it... with sound effects, with various reverby kinds of things, etc.

Within a short while, I was making this guitar sound like it was breathing... sound like a train... sound incredible... and basically sound entirely unlike anything I had ever heard a guitar sound like before. My friend, who was a guitarist with formal training, was floored... I was absolutely enthralled, in a timeless place, feeling like a conduit for the creativity and sounds that flowed through me.

Be undaunted... your ability to approach different techniques with a fresh perspective has always served you well. You were trained as a sculptor, right? I seem to remember another sculptor who only had a smattering of training as a painter... and despite his inexperience, he did just fine. Infact, he did this. You can click on the image for closeups...


Oh, btw...

Did I tell you lately LJ, just how honored I am to be able to do this at times? There are so many talented, creative people within this community... it is all I can do at times to create and to feel worthy of my place within this group. I make my LJ for myself and for my own reasons, but one of my biggest reasons to do this is that I still believe in the power of sharing your life.

The other day, I read for the first time in a long time. Justin's is probably the first online journal that I ever read... and still one of the best, largely based on the voluminous journal archives. It probably had a lot to do with inspiring me to create my first website, actually. Now I am at the point where all I do is develop content for the web... and I feel a lot better for the journey it took to get here. (Beats the crap out of doing tech support... and it pays better too!)

I was frustrated to read Justin's current take on the Internet, however. Here is a person who toured the country, teaching the poor and disadvantaged about the Internet... creating content voraciously. Lately, his posts have been less frequent, less adventurous... he has a high-tech job, a girlfriend (who moved out) and spends all of his time working in an office somewhere not too far away from me... I can tell he is not entirely happy with his lot in life and obviously wants to do more with his skills, but he is stuck in the same trap as me. We're both waiting for the big payoff, which will enable our freedom to pursue more noble interests. While it would be great if Justin got the big payoff, I half hope for his sake that his pre-IPO goes bust... it might be the kind of impetus that would reignite his life.

I never thought I could be more idealistic than Justin, but he appears to have become more cynical, while I have been in the process of emerging from my shell. I think I may have passed him up somehow/ in some way...

Shame, isn't it?

On a positive note, Fray, an independent hub for sharing stories about life for four years now (that's 72 in 'net years!) is celebrating their anniversary with Fray Day 4 this Friday night in both S.F. and in Michigan... Often, the phrase "Open Mic" is a potentially scary and pretentious thing... but this is one time I think I will make an exception. Maybe I should get a room up in S.F. for the weekend, actually, because I want to go to Flirt on Saturday, too... and then, of course, there is the Renaissance Pleasure Faire which we are supposed to go to. Hm... Anyone know any nice yet affordable hotels in S.F.?

Have you become a Livejournal member yet?

Brad Fitz has a lot of expenses associated with LJ in the near future, and will probably have to implement banner ads unless over 1.05% of the LJ community have paid memberships... ideally for a year. Memberships are only $15 for 6 months or $25 for a year though, so it's still the biggest bargain on the Internet. My rambling is worth nearly that much alone! ;-> Do it, already!

Visit to get your membership... and do your part. If you want to do more than your share, post this same message on your LiveJournal so that we can spread the word about donations and make a better LJ for all of us!

We are one.