Insomnia (insomnia) wrote,

Starting the new year off surreal

"An attack from Saddam Hussein or a surrogate of Saddam Hussein would cripple our economy," says Bush.

"Our economy is strong, it's resilient, we've got to continue to make it strong and resilient. This economy cannot afford to stand an attack."

Our economy is strong, resiliant, and it can't stand up against an attack from a country as weak as Iraq, therefore we must destroy them first?

What about Vietnam? After all, they have about four times the population of Iraq, they kicked our ass once already, and there are all sorts of Vietnamese in our midst who must be spies and traitors, right? They've even used suicide bombers against us in the past. Under these circumstances, an attack by Vietnam would permanently cripple our economy, destroy the Internet, and turn us into a third world nation, digging through heaps of garbage for foodscraps and toys for the children.

And don't even get me started on those Koreans. Not just the North Koreans, who have nuclear weapons... what about the South Koreans? They have twice as many people as North Korea, and they want to normalize relations with North Korea. Obviously, they're allied against us. We even have 37,000 troops there, surrounded by millions of Koreans. Think Custer's Last Stand! And what if the millions of Hyundais we have in this country were to suddenly explode? In the event of war with Korea, we would be forced to live in caves in a harsh, post-apocalyptic world, eating our own kind to survive!

And don't even get me started on the Canadians...

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