This is my weblog. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
My weblog is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I master my life.
My weblog, without me is useless. Without my weblog, I am useless. I must aim my weblog true. I must be on target more than other webloggers, who are trying to scoop me. I must scoop them before they scoop me. I must get in the first post *AND* the first comment. I will....
My weblog and myself know that what counts on the Internet is not the posts we make, the noise our flames cause, nor the smoke that rises afterwards. We know that it is the hits that count. My weblog will get a lot of hits... and I will use a counter to prove it.
My weblog is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weakness, its strength, its coding, its features, its fonts and its styles. I will ever guard it against the ravages of abuse and trolling. I will keep my weblog's design clean and usable, even as I am clean and usable. We will become part of each other. We will...
Before (insert favorite god(dess)/weblog host/operating system/ open source) I swear this creed. My weblog and myself are the defenders of free speech. We are the masters of (insert tyrannical government agency/competing weblog host/Microsoft/the Universe). We are the saviors of my life.
So be it, until victory is (insert favorite god(dess)/your name/weblog host/operating system, open source)'s and there is no enemy, but Peace!