insomnia: Another one lost.

Insomnia (

insomnia) wrote,
@ 2005-08-26 02:42:00

Another one lost.

Just heard that yet another soldier on my friend's list, Thomas Strickland aka

rev_wayfarer, died in Iraq earlier this month in an accident.

Thomas was a gifted writer and poet, and had a way with words...
"Humanity, I think, is what fills the little gaps between all the broken shit, all the breaking, and all the plans, schematics, graphics and orders. Its the sand slipping out of grasping fingers. Its our instinct without progress as a motivator. It's who we are when we concentrate on being more than doing."

"I spent about two hours cleaning and inspecting my three main weapon systems, a M2 HB .50cal machinegun, a M-4 carbine, and an M-9 pistol so that I may face the enemies you all have placed me in proximity of . . . All this scares the shit out of me. I've never been shot at...or blown up...or done the shooting and blowing up. And i want you to know that I'm disappointed that you have sent me here. Thanks. But not really. I'm not the first trooper you've sent to do your dirty work . . . I'm trying to calm my hands, shaking all palsy-like. And so i clean. I prepare. I shower. I write. I'll meditate. Any suggestions? No, I can't go to the driving range. I don't think I'm the first soldier to be nervously twitchy about doing what I've agreed to do. And I hope it doesn't stop really. And I hope there are others like me. And I hope you understand that war needs people like me...who can't dehumanize your enemy. I hope you want me here. But not really."

That makes him and Mike Smith (

wolfmoon98) and Adam Estep (

adeptus13).

One of my friends in Iraq said that after a while, having people you know die over there gets easier. For me, it just seems that much more tragic. Sometimes I feel like I could go hoarse from saying how f'ed up this whole conflict is, and yet I do want to try to somehow stay at least somewhat reasoned and objective. It's not easy. Just suffice it to say that such objectivity gets harder, not easier, and no, having people I get to know online die over there isn't getting any easier either.

Thomas wrote this poem, which is on his userinfo page:

Hail hail the dusky crow!
Sweeping silhouetted across the noonday sun,
Happy unfortunate shadow rolls
Looking eastward and inverted
in unkempt homeless ambition
and predatory
bleached blonde-ness.
"Liberty": its lamed-hoarse holler
"Liberty."

Give us misdirection
Perched upon your dinted lamppost
Rusted, paint-flecked,
piss drenched.
Speak more of shame
and loss
to hobbled monuments
mangled documents
and decayed halberdiers.

Speak me Liberty once more.
In tear drop-tattoos

Let us wounded march
to your tune.

Speak me death.

Hail again
O black-winged foe!
Blow, breath carried death, blow!
Woe to those beneath your
terror-ble wings,
craddling embrace
and wide smiling face;
A Sahara-sun of blistering eyes
and teeth flashing kindness,
ashing wetness with heat emanation.

Your Ca-cawing
drives
withdrawing
and lost surface tension
and back pulling evaporation puddle,
lips baring gums and teeth,
on soaking sand sponge,
baking rock.

Your bright smile
warms the flapping butterfly flock
26 strong
in shock and struggling
orangy golden brown speckled
flop-fluttering
unhomogenously
in the wet-spattered crust.

Give me Liberty if you must,

Give me Liberty
make me dust.

(21 comments) - (Post a new comment)

rothgar
2005-08-26 01:07 pm UTC (link)

Having friends killed over there does not get easier over time. If anything, it is easier to push it to back of the mind so that you can continue with the mission. But it only stays back thee long enough for you to get home and "wind down" then all of the grief and sense of loss hits you like a brick to the head.

I'm sorry to hear about your friends death and hopefully his life was not given in vain.

(Reply to this)

	pecunium 2005-08-26 01:41 pm UTC (link)
	It isn't getting any easier. Hell, the ones I don't know are getting tougher to bear. TK (Reply to this) (Thread)

	pecunium 2005-08-26 01:42 pm UTC (link)
	To elaborate, the shock is less; one comes to expect it, but the low grade emotions attendant to loss are more durable the more one has to use them. TK (Reply to this) (Parent)

	chuckdarwin 2005-08-26 02:04 pm UTC (link)
	What a fucking waste. There's no way to stop this thing, is there? (Reply to this)

	roadnotes 2005-08-26 02:23 pm UTC (link)
	Ah, fuck. (Reply to this)

	marrael 2005-08-26 02:29 pm UTC (link)
	Damn, that is tragic. I didn't know him but I was touched by your tribute. It is a loss indeed. (Reply to this)

	lafinjack 2005-08-26 02:31 pm UTC (link)
	It doesn't get easier. You only get numb to it, and as others have said, it comes back to haunt you down the road. (Reply to this)

	jreedy 2005-08-26 06:27 pm UTC (link)
	That was a wonderful tribute, indeed. Tom is sorely missed. Truly a tragic waste of a great person. (Reply to this)

	taosbat 2005-08-26 08:23 pm UTC (link)
	I am sorry to hear this. My prayers for Thomas & his family. (Reply to this)

shortindiangirl
2005-08-27 08:29 am UTC (link)

I didn't know him, but he truly does have a way with words. I was particularly moved by his verse about the pharmacist in Barcelona. It has the kind of stark honesty that I have not come to expect in many.

I think those who don't have friends in Iraq have learned, not to dehumanize the enemy, but to disengage from those who lose their lives there. And so we move on. These are powerful reminders of vibrant people.

W is telling us all that the only way to justify the lives lost thus far is to go ahead and lose more. In a way, I suppose this is inevitable now. As one of your commenters suggests, there's no way to stop this thing, is there ?

Damn. I wonder if it is easier for his family to think that there is a reason, and that's all worth it, and necessary, in order to make sense of their loss, or whether they can look objectively any more, and wonder why the hell this thing started and why it is still going on.

I didn't even know him, and reading his blog makes me want him back. I can just about imagine how his parents feel. How they will feel in a little over a week on his 28th birthday.

It just boggles my mind that in the midst of this people were sitting around whining about Terry Schiavo.

Vibrant lives
Real lives
Touching lives
Lost.

Birthdays
Thanksgivings
Memories
Lost.

Emotions
Perspective
Fatherhood
Lost.

Eight years
Secularism
International sympathy
Lost.

Judiciousness
Time
War...
Lost.

Humanity
Lost.

(Reply to this)

silvertailfoxx
2005-08-27 10:14 am UTC (link)

One thing when you join the armed forces is this: No matter who you are, what branch your in, when a member dies, you are crushed. That instant that a kevlar hits the ground after hearing rounds go off, you can feel it. You may not feel a bullet rip apart your flesh, or a fatal accident, but you can feel the sence of loss. Even if its not your own.

We are dying over here for what? Oil, terrorist, 9-11? Which one? Or are we just pawns in Bush's game. A game that he will never partake in, but mearly play the roll as God.

I may not be the most religious person, but my patrol cap is off, and I go one one knee and give my sorrows to his loved ones, and a thanks for him signing that dotted line. May he rest now knowing that he has seen the end of war, knowing his family loved him and supported him in a time where many may have not. He was a true solider, I may have never met him, but to be over here takes courage.

Pin his metals up on his chest.

(Reply to this)

	Send Bush to Iraq. Bring Our Troops Home. born_stubborn 2005-08-28 05:29 am UTC (link)
	Damn. If this were going down seven years ago, that might've been me. We've got to get those people out of there. (Reply to this)

The Death Of A Poet
(Anonymous)
2005-08-28 03:10 pm UTC (link)

My heart breaks at the absolute waste. I only knew him through his writing and hearing about him from his cousin but I wish I could have known him personally. What a gentle, thoughtful soul he seemed to have been. For those of you who did know him, my condolences. I hope, eventually, the memories won't be accompanied by such pain.

Reading Tom's journal after his death has lead me to start my own. I only wish I could write that well but at least it will give me an outlet for my thoughts, frustrations, joys, etc. I am sure Tom is safe now and still watching over those he loved.

(Reply to this)

deanmoriarty77
2005-08-28 06:36 pm UTC (link)

Thank you for this tribute to my dear friend and surrogate big-brother Tom. Most of all, though, thanks for taking the time and space to let everyone know that he wasn't JUST a soldier -- he was a poet, a writer, a philosopher... and so much more. At his funeral last week, so much emphasis was placed on his military service that i began to wonder precisely whose funeral i was attending. Tom was many different things to many different people; it's nice to see that you took the effort to shine the spotlight on his myriad facets.

Yes, he was a gentle, thoughtful soul, as well as an honorable man who kept his word. That's why he was over there. He wasn't over there for Dubya, or for you, or me, or WMDs or shootin up sum Ay-rabs... he was over there because he gave his word to his brothers-in-arms that he would be there.

What an model.

(Reply to this)

ratkrycek
2005-08-29 08:47 pm UTC (link)

I just want to thank you for doing this - calling attention to these soldier bloggers and their stories - and bringing them attention and notice. It's important to know about these great men and women who do their jobs in spite of their disbelief in the reasons for going there - to me, that is a sort of real courage and integrity - dutifulness , loyalty to their country.

Someone needs to bring these people to light, so their message might be heard, and their memories not forgotten.

And thank you for bringing it to the media as you did as best you could in your recent post - that's how I got back here - and just - thank you for all your work in these aspects - the war, the hurricane - I did some of that myself, but you are turning it into a project of awareness - I like that. I think it should happen. What better way to know history than to read it through the eyes of those who are there? Thank you, so much, for helping me read, and for helping them be read.

PS - Do you know anything about

dahunk2003? I haven't heard from him in awhile and neither has a mutual friend of ours - I was wondering if you could check it out if you have some time? I hope his last entry wasn't the old "never write home you're coming home right before you do" superstition come true... he and I talked a lot on AIM, and whatever else may be true, I forged a bond with him and I care for him... as you do for your soldier blogging friends.

(If you haven't already, another good "soldier blog" to check out is

pierceheart; he's back home now, but he wrote some absolutely incredible posts on the war while there (in other words, you'd have to read back a bit).

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	insomnia 2005-08-29 09:23 pm UTC (link)
	I haven't heard anything new about dahunk2003. I'll have to check things out for a bit, but if I can find something out, I'll let you know. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	rpeate 2005-08-30 12:42 am UTC (link)
	Just to confirm: is that him in the pictures? How did you know him? (Reply to this) (Thread)

insomnia
2005-08-30 01:03 am UTC (link)

Yes, that's him.

I got to know both him and many of the other soldiers who regularly interact with me in my comments in the same way I've gotten to know several of those who rode out the hurricane -- I did extensive searching for them, added them to my friend's list, and then started regularly interacting with them.

After awhile, you get to form some pretty strong friendships around here...

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

	rpeate 2005-08-30 01:11 am UTC (link)
	Yes. I think I want to start friending soldiers, just to help them through this madness. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	qp4 2005-09-01 08:50 pm UTC (link)
	I appreciate the way you put this together. I know that you're very much antiwar, but you managed to give a good tribute to my dead battle buddy without using him as an argument against this thing. (Reply to this)

	dragon_spirit 2005-09-04 04:37 am UTC (link)
	It hurts to read this. I'm sorry for his family, and I wish them all the strength they need to get through this terrible time. How many more fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers, husbands, wives, sons and daughters is it going to take before this hungry beast of war is satiated? (Reply to this)

(21 comments) - (Post a new comment)

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